Terrible Love "A bittersweet autopsy" of Combat PTSD and love

It doesn't have to end like this
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 13, 2014

First the good news. No relationship has to end just because they come home with PTSD. We've been married 30 years. The other good piece of news is, if I can learn what PTSD and the difference between what civilians get compared to what veterans end up with, anyone can. If I can learn what it is, why "he" has it but others didn't and what I can do to help him live a better life, anyone can.

All too often, it is not about how much we love them but more about what we are willing to do to make it work.

Terrible Love

About three years ago I received an odd phone call. His name is Christopher Thomas. He said he found my site while searching for information on PTSD. Christopher told me that while he never served, some of his friends did and he wanted to do something to help veterans. He wanted to tell their stories through their eyes. No Hollywood type looking to make a fast buck. This project meant something to him.

I put him to the test. I told him where he could find my videos. I told him to catch up and contact me with any questions he had. He did and he had plenty of them.

I still wasn't sure about him until I asked "What's your goal?" His answer was "To do whatever I can no matter what I have to do."

There were times over the years when the title of the movie was part of what he was going through, when it seemed as if this movie would never get made. He didn't give up. The script was done and redone. The done again. After that, it was a matter of finding the people. He just kept trying until he found the right actors, crew, places to film and people to lend a hand.

The day the movie was finished was not the end of the story. Much like the lives of our veterans when they come home. Their jobs while deployed are over. National Guardsmen take off their uniforms, go back to their families, friends and neighborhoods. Look forward to going back to work on their jobs, if they were lucky enough to still have one or start searching for a new one if not. The end of their service story is not done. It is never really finished. It becomes a part of them.

They can get lucky, have people surrounding them with a full understanding of what is going on with them even if they cannot feel it as well, or they can return to people pushing them away during a time when they need them the most.

Oh, it isn't always the fault of families or their friends. Most of the time it is a matter of no one told them anything they needed to understand to do anyone any good. They cared but they didn't know how to help. Now they may know just enough to change the conversation from what is wrong to what is right, what can heal and the reason they have PTSD.  They love.

They love the men and women they serve with to the point where they are prepared to die for their sake.  They love them enough to grieve so strongly it rips them apart but they push on those living on.

When people think about war, it is alway about the brutality of it forgetting about the strength of the human spirit.  Compassion and courage always pushed aside simply because they cannot understand where all that comes from. That is is that very basis within them that compels them to serve when they know they could die.  Some simply feel it all more strongly than  others and that means they feel the pain more strongly than others. Then it feels terrible to love.

Terrible Love is in the Austin Film Festival

"A bittersweet autopsy of mental illness and lost love, Terrible Love tells the story of Rufus, a wounded veteran returning home from Iraq with post-traumatic stress disorder, and his devoted wife Amy. They promised themselves never to leave each other, but that promise is put to the ultimate test when Rufus’ PTSD becomes violent. Terrible Love dives head first into the heart-breaking effects of PTSD, the relationships it hurts, and the lives it threatens."

One in three veterans come home with PTSD. Terrible Love tells the authentic story of the struggles, dangers and sacrifices of a life and a relationship threatened by PTSD. 

Here's our trailer, and if you're in Austin, come see the full film at the Austin Film Festival - October 23 and 26


Terrible Love - Trailer from Helmsman Studios on Vimeo.

Combat PTSD Brings Sexual Disfunction Triple Risk

Young vets: Trouble in the bedroom
PTSD, meds make post-9/11 veterans prone to sex, intimacy problems
UT San Diego
By Jeanette Steele
OCT. 11, 2014

Among people with combat stress — officially known as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD — the risk of sexual dysfunction is threefold.

Donald Urbany should have had it great.

After surviving a car bomb in Iraq, the soldier met a beautiful woman and married her. His wife, Jennifer, didn’t mind his visible war wounds — such as a damaged right eye and scars spidering down his cheek.

But life wasn’t great in the bedroom. Jennifer Urbany could barely get her husband to touch her. The problem got worse after he received a medical retirement in 2007 for his wounds, which included traumatic brain injury.

“She could have been naked and walking across the street, and I’d just be playing video games,” Donald Urbany said.

The combination of physical wounds, emotional trauma and a sometimes full battery of medications is taking a toll on the sex lives of America’s youngest generation of military veterans.

The topic is blush-inducing, to be sure. But some post-9/11 veterans received frank talk on the subject at a conference for combat veterans in Coronado last week.
read more here

More Millions to Duke For Brain Research

This article keeps asking "what do you think" so here it is.

If it is anything like the other millions that have gone into "researching" over the last hundred years on PTSD, then it will be more wasted time and lives. Not wasted money? No simply because someone or some group has always made money off the suffering of millions of people. Their suffering goes on while past research has been ignored as if it never happened.

Old research repeated after failures almost as if they have hoping for a different result. After all these years and all the money spent, it would be a good place for a researcher to be funded some of these millions to find out who got what and where it went.

The result has been an increase in suicides, attempted suicides, police and SWAT Team standoffs and veterans getting shot along with police officers. It has been one too many employers still not able to understand that considering there are millions of veterans with PTSD there are not millions of reports every year about them getting into any kind of trouble at all. More and more families wondering what went wrong when it is too late to learn and then wondering why no one told them what they needed to know when their veteran was still alive enough to heal.

More and more medications other "researchers" developed numbing them instead of helping them. Drugs with danger warnings growing longer and the list goes on. Would seem like a very good place to start and then move onto who has been held accountable for the deplorable results we've already seen.

Duke brain researchers receive $3 million in funding
The Duke Chronicle
By Abigail Xie
October 10, 2014

Duke researchers have been given almost $3 million as part of the first wave of President Obama's Brain Research through Advancing Innovative Neurotechnologies initiative.What do you think?

On Sept. 30, the National Institutes of Health announced the first $46 million of BRAIN funding that will go towards 100 projects across 15 states and several countries. Two projects at Duke have received more than $1.4 million each over the next three years. The overall aim of the BRAIN initiative is to develop innovative technologies to advance the study of the human brain and treatments for brain disorders. In total, the initiative will distribute $110 million in research funding.What do you think?

“There are so many secrets of the human brain and so many diseases involving the human brain,” said Chunlei Liu, assistant professor of radiology at the School of Medicine and the leader of the one of the teams. “It’s not just that we don’t have ways to treat them—we don’t even have ways to understand them."What do you think?

The BRAIN initiative will make hundreds of millions of dollars available to researchers studying the human brain through both public and private funding. One of the major goals of the initiative is to conduct research into brain diseases such as Alzheimer's disease and post traumatic stress disorder. The project has been compared to the Human Genome Project in scope and scale.
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Iraq Veteran Killed in Colorado Suffered Combat PTSD

Colorado Springs slaying victim not the same after return from Iraq war, family says
The Gazette
Lisa Walton
October 12, 2014

A yearlong deployment to Iraq in 2003 had taken its toll on a father of six who was shot to death last week in Colorado Springs, family members say.

Jamarlon "Jamanion" Keys, a former Fort Carson soldier, suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, according to his ex-wife, Shereece Williams, although it wasn't diagnosed until several years after he returned from Iraq.

Williams and Keys were high school sweethearts. She learned she was pregnant with their daughter, J'Myah, shortly after he completed Army basic training. They were married in 2002, and Keys spent the first year of their marriage deployed in Iraq, she said. He was an infantryman.

His mother, Anita Crawford, said he used to say that the military "forgot to turn him off."
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Fort Carson Veteran From Florida Killed in Colorado

Toxic Battlefields Burn Pits Leave Afghanistan and Iraq Veterans Fighting for Their Lives

'Toxic battlefield'
Many tie Iraq, Afghanistan War veterans' illnesses to burn pits, dust
Live Well Nebraska
By Steve Liewer
World-Herald staff writer
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014

U.S. MARINE CORPS
Burn pits used especially in the early days of the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars to destroy trash sent piles of wood, paper, medical waste, metal, plastics and even human waste up in smoke.

Jeff Flint remembers the sandstorms that regularly cloaked his military base in Iraq in a choking darkness.

And the black smoke, from the base’s fiery 10-acre garbage pit, that frequently blanketed both the gate where he stood guard and the tent where he slept during his yearlong deployment with the Nebraska National Guard in 2006-07.

“It was constant, 24 hours a day. It made you sick, nauseated,” said Flint, 45, of Fremont, Nebraska. “Put a dome over a city, and that’s what it was like.”

The hacking cough he developed more than seven years ago has never gone away. And it’s been joined by the tingling in his body and the numbness in his hands from multiple sclerosis, which he was diagnosed with two years after his return.

Flint is among tens of thousands of Iraq and Afghanistan War vets who have developed chronic illnesses since returning from the war zones. Many — including Flint and his brother, John, who served with him and also has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis — are convinced they are sick because of noxious stuff they breathed in during their deployments.

“It’s just a toxic battlefield,” said Dan Sullivan, president and CEO of the Sergeant Sullivan Center, a nonprofit organization that supports veterans with post-deployment health problems.
“You’ve got a bunch of toxic stuff floating around in an atmosphere that picks everything up.
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Reservist's Shaken Baby Death Puts PTSD on Trial

There are many quotes that could have been used on telling the story of what happened to a family after deployment including this one.

"Therefore, the number-one thing we can do to help vets is to prevent avoidance," said Phipps, who admitted that she's not offering a magic bullet. "They don't need to hear 'Get over it,'" she said. "We should be saying, 'Get through it.'" Kelly Phipps, Ph.D.

Jerry Davich wrote Blaming war for actions at home elicits different kind of anger October 11, 2104 with this quote.

I have no pity, compassion or explanation for monstrous abusers — let’s face it, they’re accused of killing babies. That’s not acceptable anywhere and most people would agree that people convicted of that should first rot in prison and then rot in hell.

I’d be surprised if Duron’s attorney doesn’t use the PTSD claim as his lead defense strategy in court. Then again, as one full-blown PTSD sufferer told me for this column, even combat-related PTSD does not remove the ability to distinguish right from wrong.

Felix Duron is accused of shaking his baby to death

There’s a telling line that jumps off the page in the probable cause affidavit against Felix Duron, regarding how he allegedly shook to death 2-year-old Bentley Mihal.

“Duron admitted he was in a state of extreme anger and resentment and shook B.M. (Bentley Mihal) like he would ‘shake a man,’ ” the Sept. 25 affidavit states.

What is missing, perhaps the most important fact of all is what else was happening when Duron was deployed.

Such violent anger couldn’t be seen in Duron in 2011, when the then 24-year-old U.S. Army Reserve soldier returned home from a year in Afghanistan. Along with 160 other soldiers, Duron smiled broadly while cradling his infant son for the first time.

This was three years after the DOD told the entire country they were training servicemen and women to be "resilient" with their Comprehensive Soldier Fitness on the heels of Battlemind.

14. Januar 2008
Battlemind: Preparing Soldiers for combat, home life
By Susan Huseman USAG STUTTGART
STUTTGART – Today, every Soldier headed to Iraq and Afghanistan receives Battlemind training, but few know the science behind it.

Dr. Amy Adler, a senior research psychologist with the U.S. Army Medical Research Unit-Europe, Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, visited Patch Barracks to break down the program, which is a system of support and intervention.

Not every Soldier who deploys downrange is at risk for mental health problems. The main risk factor is the level of combat experienced, Adler explained to her audience, comprised predominantly of medical, mental health and family support professionals.

Army studies show the greater the combat exposure a Soldier encounters, the greater the risk for mental health problems, including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anger and relationship problems. When Soldiers first return home, they may not notice any problems; sometimes it takes a few months for problems to develop.

It turned out that most did not know what they needed to know about Combat and PTSD.

Fifty-seven percent (57%) of the families surveyed were not told about the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Ninety-two percent (92%) of the Servicemembers surveyed were not tested nor had no knowledge of being tested for PTSD.

Sixty-five percent (65%) of the Servicemembers surveyed either suffer from PTSD or are unsure if they suffer from PTSD.

Forty-one percent (41%) are not getting treatment for PTSD

Battlemind came with a warning that it could cause problems back home.

'Battlemind' is the Soldier's inner strength to face fear and adversity with courage. Key components include: - Self confidence: taking calculated risks and handling challenges. - Mental toughness: overcoming obstacles or setbacks and maintaining positive thoughts during times of adversity and challenge.

Battlemind skills helped you survive in combat, but may cause you problems if not adapted when you get home.

In other words, unlike Davich's attitude, the fault belongs to the military. What they claimed they were doing is being proven all over the country as more and more of these men and women change from being willing to die for the sake of someone else, into someone accused of harming someone else.

They don't get the help they need while in the military and they don't get what they need when they come home.

Duron needs to stand trial for what he is accused of doing. When does the DOD stand trial for what they failed to do? When does Congress stand trial for what they failed to pay attention to repeatedly? When do military families get the information they needed and were promised by the DOD?

A veteran harming someone else is rare considering there were over 2 million serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. A veteran taking their own life happens more often.

Emotional Gathering at Traveling Vietnam Memorial Wall

TEMECULA: Strong emotions emanate from The Moving Wall
Hundreds are expected to visit the exhibit, a 252-foot-long replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., this weekend
The Press Enterprise
BY TOM SHERIDAN
STAFF WRITER
Published: Oct. 10, 2014

Volunteer Rocky Rockers, 87, helps Marti Scott copy a name from The Moving Wall, a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial at Sam Hicks Monument Park in Old Town Temecula.
FRANK BELLINO, STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

The sniffles – as soft as the sunlight filtering through the leaves on a fall morning – could be heard among the visitors to The Moving Wall, a mobile replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial visiting Temecula this weekend.

Mark Sitar, 64, of Temecula, a Vietnam-era Army veteran, was one of the volunteers manning the exhibit at Sam Hicks Monument Park on Friday.

“This is going to be open 24 hours,” said Sitar. “And there will be people here at 2 o’clock in the morning, because they don’t want people to see them cry.”

The half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., is sizable, consisting of 74 panels and stretching 252 feet. It is on display at the park on the outskirts of Old Town Temecula. It has visited more than 1,000 U.S. cities since it began traveling the country 30 years ago.
read more here

Vietnam Veteran Has Well Water and Well Wishes From Angels

Harrison firm steps in to install water well for Laurel Lake veteran, wife
The Daily Journal
Chris Torres
October 10, 2014

"I just figured no one gave a hoot about Vietnam veterans," Donald Smith said. "Next thing you know, these guys get here like angels. It's a miracle."

Lila and Veteran Donald Smith were excited to have a working water well at their home in Laurel Lake.
Oct. 9, 2014. Staff photo/Craig Matthews

COMMERCIAL – U.S. Army veteran Donald Smith still struggles from the effects of broken bones and post-traumatic stress after returning from the Vietnam War.

It hasn't helped in recent years that he also wasn't guaranteed simple things such as a warm bath at night.

His wife, Lila, would have to travel back and forth with buckets of water from neighbors for them to get by, because of significant troubles with their outdated water well.

There was no guarantee they would have any water at all going into this winter, and they couldn't afford a new well. Recently, Lila Smith decided she had enough, and reached out to a local veterans group for help.

She was directed to the Veterans Community Alliance of Freehold, who came to the Smiths' Laurel Lake home this week to help give them the gift they've wanted and needed for years.

The VCA paid for the installation of a new four-inch well, to the delight of the couple and neighbors stopping along the way.
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OEF-OIF Veterans Giving Vietnam Veterans Proper Welcome Home

If you heard stories about Vietnam Veterans being treated badly when they came home, most of what you heard is true. If you doubt it, then you must have lived in parts of the country where they were either ignored or respected.

This deplorable treatment happened to MOH Sammy Davis after he earned the Medal of Honor and was released from the hospital.

What Sammy Davis did is read in the Citation and what was done to him are in this video. Imagine as you listen to the account of his heroism, being treated the way he was. Then imagine how much it took for Sammy to turn around and join the National Guards after all of this.
It happened to them but because of them it doesn't happen now. It isn't about giving veterans a second chance of coming home. It is more about giving the American people a second chance to do the right thing.

Giving Vietnam Veterans a Second Chance to Come Home
Post-9/11 vets are helping an older generation experience a more friendly homecoming
Take Part.com
Rebecca McCray
October 10, 2014

In August 1971, Terry Sorrells came home to southern Indiana from the Vietnam War and asked his dad if he wanted to go squirrel hunting. The season had just started, and it was a pastime they’d shared before he left for the war. So they took their shotguns, walked to the back of their farm, and parked themselves under a tree.

They saw a squirrel on the tree’s trunk, but it scampered around to the other side after it heard them approach. Sorrells’ dad asked him if he knew why the squirrel had run away. “Well, Pop, we scared him,” Sorrells recalled telling him. “He looked at me and he said, ‘I’ll tell you why he did. He wants to live just as much as we do.’ ”

That moment ended Sorrells’ hunting career. “We both got up, cracked open our shotguns and took the shells out, and we walked back home.”

Today, many post-9/11 veterans are forging connections with those who fought in the Vietnam War, not unlike the bond Sorrells shared with his father that summer. These intergenerational friendships have spawned a wave of ceremonies around the country that are intended to give Vietnam vets a second, friendlier homecoming, like the ones received by those who returned from Iraq and Afghanistan 45 years later.
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US Airways Passengers Angry over treatment Army Ranger received

UPDATE Oct 13, 2014
Airline Apologizes for Flight Attendant's Treatment of Soldier

Outrage as U.S. Airways attendant refuses to let veteran hang up his medal-filled jacket to stop it creasing - telling him closet service is for first-class passengers only
First Sergeant Albert Marle boarded plane wearing a jacket lined with medals
Asked US Airways attendant if she could hang up his 'Dress Blues' uniform
But she reportedly refused, saying coat closet was for first-class fliers only
Outraged passengers offered Sgt Marle their seats, but he politely declined
After fliers spoke of the incident online, social media users hit out at airline
US Airways has since apologized and launched investigation into incident
By SOPHIE JANE EVANS FOR MAILONLINE
10 October 2014

US Airways has sparked outrage after a flight attendant allegedly refused to hang up an Army Ranger and combat veteran's jacket to stop it from creasing.

First Sergeant Albert Marle was wearing a jacket lined with medals when he boarded Flight 1930 from Portland, Oregon, to Charlotte, North Carolina, yesterday.

But when he asked an attendant to hang up his 'Dress Blues' uniform, she reportedly refused, saying the coat closet was for first-class passengers only and he was seated in coach.
read more here

Tuskegee Airman Joining Ride To Recovery at 94 Years Young

Tuskegee Airmen join final leg of 450-mile bike ride for injured vets
LA Times
By CORINA KNOLL
October 11, 2014

Two Tuskegee Airmen are expected to join more than 200 injured veterans and their supporters for the conclusion of a seven-day, 450-mile bicycle ride that ends Saturday in Los Angeles.

Robert Friend, 94, plans to bike the last several miles of UnitedHealthcare Ride 2 Recovery, an event that kicked off last Sunday in Palo Alto. 

Participants cycled along the coast, stopping in cities along the way. They are now headed for the finish line at the VA West Los Angeles Medical Center, where they will be greeted by veteran Walter Crenshaw, 104.
read more here

Curt Fike fought with Marine in Iraq 3 times, lost fight to PTSD

Fallen Marine's mom upset with Dayton VA cemetery
WHIO News
By Sandy Collins and John Bedell
Staff Writer
October 8, 2014

DAYTON — A local mother is upset with the Dayton National Cemetery at the Veteran's Administration for enforcing their grave decoration policy.

Jody Merrill of Hamilton says she was contacted by the Director of the National Cemetery, Michael Henshaw. He offered condolences on the loss of her son, then explained the decorations and personal items left at her son's grave were prohibited and needed to be removed.

Her son, Curt Fike, served as a Marine for three tours in Iraq. He returned to the Miami Valley suffering from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and took his own life in early 2012.

"He fought hard and long with PTSD," said Merrill, "and after he passed away, we also found out that he had a traumatic brain injury."

Henshaw indicated in his letter to Merrill that the items which don't meet the policy guidelines will be removed "so that we may re-establish the grass and (to) properly maintain the gravesite."
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General Amos has a lot to answer for

General Amos has a lot more to answer for than just skipping training. Amos talks a lot about Marines committing suicide however, he keeps talking about them happening even though there has never been a time when more had been done to prevent them.

Amos says that most suicides happen because of "relationship" problems. Ok, then since the military has psychological testing before recruits enter the military, why didn't those test find Marines at risk for suicides? Why didn't the testing discover psychological issues like depression?

As for the "resilience" training generals keep talking about, why isn't it good enough to train the non-deployed to be resilient while they expect it to make the deployed resilient? Doesn't make sense to the rest of us but makes perfect sense to Amos no matter how the number of enlisted Marines were reduced even as the number of suicides went up. The generals never seem to be able to explain any of that.

This is from 2009 just when they started to push Comprehensive Soldier Fitness. The rate of suicides going up tied to this "training" was predicted the same year but those in charge didn't care.

Marine commandant faces new questions
Marine Corps Times
Lance M. Bacon
October 10, 2014

Gen. Jim Amos' critics are not letting him quietly retire as commandant of the Marine Corps, raising fresh allegations of wrongdoing even as he prepares to end his tenure on Oct. 17.

At issue is whether Amos attended basic Marine officer training in 1972 as he said in the career service record he provided Congress four years ago during his confirmation as the service's 35th commandant.

Amos was a Navy pilot and lieutenant junior grade who transferred to Marine Corps aviation and bypassed The Basic School, a rite of passage for all Marine officers. The Corps says Amos did complete the school — five years later than claimed and via correspondence course.

A spokesman for Marine Corps headquarters said it could not provide documentation late Friday afternoon. Marine Corps Times had sought details on Amos' Basic School history since Wednesday.
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Dogs Of War PTSD Service Dogs Begins Veterans Day

A and E to Air 'Dogs of War'
Veterans and Shelter Dogs Pair for Recovery
Premiere Event Airs Tuesday, Nov. 11 at 10 p.m.
Multichannel.com
Jaclyn Tuman
10/10/2014

Dogs of War, a new docuseries where veterans suffering from PTSD are paired with shelter dogs trained to aid in their recoveries, will air this Veterans Day, Nov. 11 at 10 p.m, A and E announced today.

“This series is full of raw, real and intensely emotional moments that don’t often get a spotlight in mainstream media,” said General Manager and Executive Vice President of A and E, David McKillop in a release.

“Each veterans’ story of survival is humbling and we are proud to create a series that captures the light at the end of the tunnel for these heroes.”

After the premiere event, the show will then move to Sundays at 10 p.m., starting Nov. 16.
read more here